Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate the School Year

1) Only one of my three children is a morning person, making me Miss Hannigan Monday through Friday. If only I had Carol Burnett’s bathtub.

2) I am not a morning person, but singing “Hard Knock Life” helps.

3) My school participation is compared between children – “But you went on two of her field trips and only one of mine.” Seriously?

4) Repetitive emails about school events just to make sure we understood the first time. And the second time. And then, they left something out…So…

5) Repetitive Paperwork (This is even worse because we are killing the trees, right?) just to make sure we understood the first time. And the second time. And then, they left something out… So…

6) Two of my children are social butterflies and want to hang out with every child they ever meet, regardless of our schedule “BUT, Mom…”

7) I am not particularly social at hockey, basketball, soccer or ANY practice, leading me to spend time sitting in my car with my laptop (8 hr battery life) and my hat pulled low. I have my fictional friends already, thank you. Evil plots don’t just HAPPEN.

8)  “$5 for a slice of pizza on Fridays?”… “Mom, it’s a fundraiser. We need to support the school!”

9) There are these Mothers who must outdo the last class party. Maybe you have met them? Must we have a meeting about the Valentine’s party after the ten emails where we “brainstormed” ideas? Do we really think the first graders are going to remember the game, the craft, the song we taught them along with the hand motions when they’re 21? And can I tell you where that craft goes the minute my kid turns her head? (It’s round three, folks, now it’s just junk in my house)

10) The early rising child is still an early riser ON SATURDAY. Like a freaking rooster.